Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (2588) from Abu Hurayrah that the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said:
"Charity does not decrease wealth. No one forgives, but Allaah increases him in honour, and no one humbles himself before Allaah but Allaah raises him in status."
As for speaking to your husband or rebuking him, it is words of sincere advice and a rebuke from those who love good for him and fear for the bad consequences that he may face as a result of his actions; they want to warn him against obeying Iblees and making him happy, and disobeying and incurring the wrath of the Most Merciful, may He be exalted.
As for his obeying Ibleese, Muslim narrated in his Saheeh (2813) that Jaabir (may Allaah be pleased with him) said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Iblees places his throne over the water, then he sends out his troops, and the one who is closest in status to him is the one who causes the greatest amount of fitnah (tribulation or temptation). One of them comes and says, I have done such and such, and he says: 'You have not done anything.' Then one of them comes and says: 'I did not leave him until I separated him and his wife.' Then he draws him close to him and says: 'How good you are.'" Al-A'mash said: I think he said: "and he embraces him."
As for his incurring the wrath of the Most Merciful and disobeying Him, let him listen to what the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Fear Allaah with regard to women, for you have taken them as a trust from Allaah, and intimacy with them has become permissible to you by the word of Allaah." Narrated by Muslim (1218)
Is this how you take a trust from Allaah, O slave of Allaah?!
Is this how you deal with the word of Allaah, O slave of Allaah?!
Is this how you respond to the advice of the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him), who said: "I urge you to treat women well"? (narrated by al-Bukhaari (3331) and Muslim (1468))
And he (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "The best of you is the one who is best to his wife, and I am the best of you to my wives." Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (3895) and Ibn Majaah (1977); classed as aheeh by al-Albaani in Saheeh al-Tirmidhi.
Or is this what living with them honourably means? Allaah says (interpretation of the meaning): "and live with them honourably." [al-Nisa' 4:19]
Is this what taking care of them means? The Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: "Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock. The ruler of the people is a shepherd and is responsible for his flock. A man is the shepherd of his household and is responsible for his flock. A woman is the shepherd of her husband's house and children and is responsible for her flock. The slave is the shepherd of his master's wealth and is responsible for it. Each of you is a shepherd and each of you is responsible for his flock." Narrated by al-Bukhaari (893) and Muslim (1829)
Have you not heard what the great Sahaabi, 'Aa'idh ibn 'Amr (may Allaah be pleased with him) said when he entered upon 'Ubayd-Allaah ibn Ziyaad, the oppressive governor? The Sahaabi said to him: O my son, I heard the Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) say: "The worst of guardians are those who are cruel. Beware lest you be one of them." Narrated by Muslim (1830)
Are you not afraid that you may be one of them?
Have you never heard that everyone gets headaches sometimes.
We have never heard of anything stranger or weirder than this.
Or perhaps you need some proof? Listen to this, O slave of Allaah:
It was narrated that 'Aa'ishah said: The Messenger of Allaah (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) came back from al-Baqee' and I had a headache and was saying, Oh my head. He said, "Rather, I should say, Oh my head, O 'Aa'ishah." Narrated by Ibn Majaah (1465); classed as saheeh by al-Albaani in Takhreej al-Mishkaat (5970)
You should remember that when the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) died, 'Aa'ishah was eighteen years old, which means that when she complained of this headache she was younger than eighteen, and the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) believed her and treated her with compassion. 'Aa'ishah (may Allaah be pleased with her) was asked: What did the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) do in his house? She said: He used to serve his family, then when the time for prayer came, he would go out to pray. Narrated by al-Bukhaari (676)
This is evidence if you need it, but we do not think that you need evidence. Rather you need to act. The way is ahead of you but you are not moving.
We have spoken at length, but if a person does not benefit from a little then he will not benefit from a lot.
You should think that you may be afflicted one day and you will need this weak woman to support you and look after your affairs. Would you like her to treat you as you are treating her?
Or would you like her to be better than you, and to believe you, although you did not believe her, and to support you, although you let her down, and to treat you kindly although you are treating her harshly, and to be forbearing towards you although you are treating her ignorantly.
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