Tuesday 2 April 2013

[PF:172023] Talking with and Looking at a Women for Marriage

In the name of Allah, the Most-Merciful, the All-Compassionate
 
"May the Peace and Blessings of Allah be Upon You"
 
Praise be to Allaah, we seek His help and His forgiveness. We seek refuge with Allaah from the evil of our own souls and from our bad deeds. Whomsoever Allaah guides will never be led astray, and whomsoever Allaah leaves astray, no one can guide. I bear witness that there is no god but Allaah, and I bear witness that Muhammad is His slave and Messenger.
 
  
Bismillah Walhamdulillah Was Salaatu Was Salaam 'ala Rasulillah
As-Salaam Alaikum Wa-Rahmatullahi Wa-Barakatuhu
 
 
 

Talking with and Looking at a women for marriage

If a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, it is permissible for him to speak with her and look at her without being alone.
Islam commands us to lower our gaze and forbids looking at non-mahram women. This is in order to purify people's souls and protect their honor. There are, however, certain exceptions in which it is permissible to look at a non-mahram woman for reasons of necessity, one of which is in the case of proposing marriage, because it is the basis on which a very important decision affecting a person's life will be taken.
If a man wants to propose marriage to a woman, it is permissible for him to speak with her and look at her without being alone. It should be done from a distance and in the presence of her father, brother or mother etc. But if he does not want to propose marriage to her, then he has no right to do that. So long as he wants to marry her.
Al-Zaylai said:
"It is not permissible for him to touch her face or hands even if he is sure that this will not provoke desire because she is still haraam for him, and there is no need for him to do so."
(Radd al-Muhtaar alal-Durr al-Mukhtaar, 5/237)
Ibn Qudaamah said:
"It is not permitted for him to be alone with her, because she is forbidden and Islam only allows him to look, thus khulwah (being alone with her) remains forbidden, and because there is no certainty that nothing forbidden will take place if he is alone with her, as the Prophet (pbuh) said: 'No man is alone with a woman, but the Shaytaan is the third one present.' He should not look at her in a lustful or suspicious manner.

Ahmad said, in a report narrated by Saalih, 'He may look at the face, but not in a lustful manner.' He may look repeatedly, and examine her beauty, because the aim cannot be achieved in any other way."
When a man came to the Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) to ask his opinion, he said:
"Have you looked at her?"
He said: No.
He said: "Go and look at her."
And he said: "When one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, let him do so."
Narrated by Abu Dawood (1783).

It was narrated from al-Mugheerah ibn Shubah (R.A) that he proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet  (pbuh) said:
"Look at her, for that will help bring your hearts together."
Narrated by al-Tirmidhi (1087); he said: this is a hasan hadeeth.

From Jaabir ibn Abd-Allaah(R.A):
"Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) said: If one of you proposes marriage to a woman, if he can look at her to see that which will encourage him to go ahead and marry her, then let him do so.'
(Saheeh Abi Dawood, no. 1832, 1834)

Narrated by Abu Hurayrah (R.A):
"I was with the Prophet (pbuh) when a man came and told him that he had married a woman of the Ansaar.
The Prophet (pbuh) said to him, 'Have you seen her ?'
He said, 'No.'
He said, 'Go and look at  her, for there is something in the eyes of the Ansaar."
(Reported by Muslim, no. 1424; and by  al-Daaraqutni, 3/253 (34))

Narrated by al-Mugheerah ibn Shu'bah (R.A):
"I proposed marriage to a woman, and the Prophet (pbuh) said: 'Have you seen her?'
I said, 'No.'
He said, 'Look at her,  because it is more fitting that love and compatibility be established between you.'" According to another report: "So he did that, and he married her and mentioned that they got along." (Reported by al-Daaraqutni,  3/252 (31, 32); Ibn Maajah, 1/574)


From Sahl ibn Sa'd (R.A):
"A woman came to the Messenger of Allah (pbuh) and said: "O Messenger of Allah, I have come to give myself to you (in marriage)." Prophet Muhammed (pbuh) looked at her closely, then he lowered his head.
When the woman saw that he had not made a decision about her, she sat down.
One of his Companions stood up and said, O Messenger of Allah, if you do not want her, then marry her to me…'"
(Reported by al-Bukhaari, 7/19; Muslim, 4/143; al-Nisaai, 6/113 bi Sharh al-Suyooti;  al-Bayhaqi, 7/84)


Some sayings of the scholars
:
Al-Shaafa'i (may Allah have mercy on him) said:
"If he wants to marry a woman, he is NOT allowed to see her without a headcover. He may look at her face and hands when she is covered, with or without her permission.

Allah says (interpretation of the meaning): '… and not to show off their adornment except only that which is apparent…'
[al-Noor 24:31].
He said: 'The face and hands.'" (al-Haawi al-Kabeer, 9/34).

Imaam al-Nawawi said in Rawdat al-Taalibeen wa 'Umdat al-Mufteen (7, 19-20):
"When (a man) wants to marry (a woman), it is preferable (mustahabb) for him to look at her so that he will have no regrets.


Abu Haneefah permitted looking at the feet as well as the face and hands. (Bidaayah al-Mujtahid wa  Nihayyat al-Muqtasid, 3/10)
"It is permissible to look at the face, hands and feet, and no more than that." Ibn Rushd also quoted it as above.
Among the reports from the madhhab of Imaam Maalik:
He may look at the face and hands only. He may look at the face, hands and forearms only.

A number of reports were narrated from Imaam Ahmad (may Allaah have mercy on him), one of which says that he may look at the face and forearms.
From the above, it is clear that the majority of scholars say that a man is allowed to look at his fiancee face and hands, because the face indicates beauty or ugliness, and the hands indicate the slimness or plumpness (literally, 'fertility') of the body.
There is no dispute among the scholars that the man is permitted to look at the face and hands and talk from a distance and in the presence of her father, brother or mother etc.

Allah knows the best.
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The Prophet (pbuh) said,
"Convey (my teachings) to the people even if it were a single sentence..."
[Saheeh Bukhaari, Volume 4, Book 56, Number 667]

[karachi-Friends] Daily Qur'an & Hadith 03 April 2013 (21 Jamadi Al`Awwal 1434)

English Translation of Al-Quran

[21].Al-Anbiya [The Prophets]

Ayat 104. And (remember) the Day when We shall roll up the heavens like a scroll rolled up for books, as We began the first creation, We shall repeat it, (it is) a promise binding upon Us. Truly, We shall do it.

Ayat 105. And indeed We have written in Zabur (Psalms) [i.e. all the revealed Holy Books the Taurat (Torah), the Injeel (Gospel), the Qur'an] after (We have already written in) Al-Lauh Al-Mahfûz (the Book, that is in the heaven with Allah), that My righteous slaves shall inherit the land (i.e. the land of Paradise).

Ayat 106. Verily, in this (the Qur'an) there is a plain Message for people who worship Allah (i.e. the true, real believers of Islamic Monotheism who act practically on the Qur'an and the Sunnah legal ways of the Prophet  [SAWW](PBUH).

[Tafseer] The world—the universe—as we know it, will be folded up like a scroll of parchment, for it will have done its work. If Allah created all this world out of nothing, He can create an entirely new heaven and a new earth, on a plane of which we can form no conception in our present life. And He will do so, for that is His promise. Some Commentators understand Sijill to be the name of the Recording Angel who closes the Book of a man's Deeds after the man's death. Before this We wrote in the Psalms, after the Message (given to Moses): My servants the righteous, shall inherit the earth." Zabur. the Book of the Psalms of David. The name of David is expressly mentioned in connection with the Zabur in 4:163 and 17:55, although there the indefinite article is applied to the word as meaning a Book of Scripture. See Psalms 25:13, "his seed shall inherit the earth": 37:11, "the meek shall inherit the earth" (quoted by Jesus in Matt. 5:5); and 37:29, "the righteous shall inherit the land.". The same promise occurs in the Pentateuch, Exod. 32:13, "they shall inherit it (the land) forever." Verily in this (Quran) is a Message for people who would (truly) worship Allah. The culmination of Allah's Revelation is in the Quran, which confirms previous scriptures, corrects the errors which men introduced into them, and explains many points in detail for all who seek right worship and service to Allah— whether they inherit the previous Books ("People of the Book") or not. It is a universal Message. 

English Translation of Hadith  

Hazrat Samurah bin Jundub (May Allah be pleased with him) reported: The Messenger of Allah [SAWW](PBUH) said, "Among the people of Hell are there those who will be emersed in fire to their ankles, some to their knees, some to their waists, and some to their throats".

[Muslim Book 40, Chapter 12, Hadith # 6815]. 

Lesson : as mentioned above in Surah Al-Anbiya Ayat 104."And (remember) the Day when We shall roll up the heavens like a scroll rolled up for books," This Hadith tells us that the inhabitants of Jannah will be classified into different categories and enjoy different kinds of luxuries according to their merits. A similar classification will also be made in the inhabitants of Hell and they will suffer torments according to their misdeeds.  

 

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